Man oh Man

There's a Service for Everything

Growing up, dad always took care of negotiating and buying our cars. My mother, my sister and I all gave input on color, etc. but when it got down to brass tacks, my dad took it from there. And, since car buying involves getting into finances, I was never allowed to observe the negotiations. I've negotiated the price of a few cars since I've become an adult but I can't say the experiences have ever been very good. Sure, you can go in armed with all the information you can find on the internet but it always seems that there's a reason why that information doesn't apply to the car I'm trying to buy.

And, before you know it, the sales guy and I are arguing over something. I've always gotten the car I wanted but the process just tends to taint the happiness for me. Maybe I just suck at negotiating.

According to Kipplinger, though, there may be a better way for me to go about buying my next car. In their article Hate to Haggle? Here's Help, they provide overviews of services that will negotiate the price of your desired car for you.

Most people don't want to pay sticker, but they don't want to work at whittling it down, either.

You specify the make, model and style of the car you want, and CarBargains solicits bids from at least five dealers in your area. You receive a copy of each bid and the name of a contact at the dealership. The service costs $190.

Using CarsDirect.com (available in 39 states) involved almost zero hassle. The buying service negotiates with dealers in advance, so it has a list of prices waiting for you. Choosing the car and options are straightforward, and the site also divulges all current rebates and incentives.

With Drive One, the vehicle price is guaranteed to be at or below Kelley Blue Book's New Car Blue Book Value -- the average transaction price for a new model, which also is listed in our December issue new-vehicle buyer's guide. (KBB's New Car Blue Book Value doesn't include cash rebates, which go directly from the maufacturer to the consumer.) You can try to negotiate even lower prices when you get to the dealer.

More Vain or Less Frugal?

Andrew sent another study my direction that I thought I'd post to see if it sparks any level of discussion. It was commissioned by GQ magazine and was designed to compare the spending habits of Generation Xers with the spending habits of our Boomer fathers. Some of the more interesting findings:

The study found that Generation X men are more likely than Baby Boomers to pay a premium for:

Jeans                                        89% more
Fragrance and Grooming            70% more
Men's watches                            50% more
Men's jewelry                               41% more
Business casual clothing                39% more
Casual clothing                            37% more
Dress Shoes                                36% more

According to the study, Xers are 80% more likely to buy items that are stylish and reflect their lifestyle.

I wonder what has caused that. Is it that our fathers were raised by Depression survivors and were taught to save as much as possible? Is it because they became men in a time period where you owned a few suits and mixed and matched shirts, ties and accessories and didn't need to spend as much on their appearance? Or is it that we are just significantly more vain when it comes to how we look?

I suspect that any and all of the reasons listed could play a part. Our fathers also grew up in a time where there were three television networks so they didn't have access to everything hip and cool from around the world whenever they wanted it. And the advertising industry probably wasn't quite as influential (in terms of popular culture, style, etc.) as it is today.

At the same time, a lot of it has to do with the notion that our generation is terrible with money. How many mortgages do you have on your home? Ask your parents how many they had. Our wants seem to be bigger and our desire to spend our money and live in the moment also appears to be higher. Not suggesting that either generation is right or wrong just an observation that we are different.

As I'm at the top end of Generation X, I do treat myself to indulgences when it comes to my hobbies of golf, guitar, cigars, etc. But most of my disposable income is now spent on my daughter. I miss the days where I could spend what I wanted on whatever it was that I wanted but I think I'd miss what I have today even more.

But, as I mentioned earlier, I'm interested in any thoughts you might have. If you have an opionion, please post a comment. I'm sure there are several of us who'd be interested.

This post was written as part of the Carnival of Modern Man.

Financial Infidelity

Another article I ran across in Details likens the growing financial infidelity of men to the thrill associated with sexual infidelity. The gist is that, in both cases, you are doing something that you shouldn't and getting away with it can be a rush. Fine. Now, why are you spending a bunch of money on the "down low"? Why don't you and your wife just talk about it? C'mon, now. This used to be a common complaint among men in previous generations. I'm all for role reversal and all, but how about a little respect and honesty here?

According to the article:

Roughly a quarter of men between 25 and 55 fail to level with their partners about spending, according to a recent Harris Interactive poll. And as with the more traditional form of cheating, men will go to great lengths to keep their financial infidelities secret.

Most of the men highlighted in this article are on the young end of the age scale. And, to be fair, I have spent money on items that weren't officially cleared prior to the purchase. But most of those things were in the tens or hundreds of dollars not the thousands like some of these guys spend. but it's their attitudes that really shock me:

"I'm a man, I can do what I want. There are some things I do that she doesn't need to know about."

"Classically, you hear about women pursuing marriage and men giving up their freedom when they get married," says Jonathan Rich, the author of The Couple's Guide to Love & Money. "This is a way of keeping that independence."

"Family success makes up a woman's self-image. Men are the opposite. Instead of focusing on the group, they focus on individual success. Every man is trying to get the most for himself."

I read quotes like these and have a completely new understanding of why the divorce rate in America is so high. My advice: if you are having problems with maintaining an understanding of who you are outside of your relationship, it's probably not the right relationship to be in. Keep looking. Save yourself a little heartache. And then go buy whatever you want.

Otherwise, you might try treating your spouse as a partner in the relationship. You might even be amazed and how well that works for you.

This post has been written as part of the Carnival of Modern Man.