Is This a Good Idea?

From this morning's Wall Street Journal:

Dismayed by a rash of affairs and divorces among acquaintances, Gloria and Bryan Mahan, of Cerritos, Calif., made an agreement before marrying each other three years ago: If either of them felt attracted to someone else, he or she would tell the other partner immediately.

Instead of waiting until after spouses stray and then attempting damage control, therapists and marriage educators are urging couples to build trust upfront by acknowledging the possibility of cheating and heading it off through explicit spoken or written agreements.

One bonus, couples say, is that telling your spouse about an extramarital desire tends to quash it. When Mr. Laurent talked with his wife about workplace temptations, he says, "all of a sudden, that power, that pull, was gone in a flash. When you shine the light on something, then the darkness goes away. It has no choice."

In general, I guess this seems like an admirable idea in that you give your spouse the chance to address whatever it is in your relationship that might be encouraging you to stray - if it is something that can be addressed. On the other hand, it's a contract that's agreed upon by both you and your wife. I'm wondering how many folks would actually act upon the agreement in the first place. Afterall, we all know that marriage in and of itself is a contract. If you are willing to break that one by having an affair are you really going to keep your word on this one?

I admit I'm a cynic. I'm wondering what you might think.

Comments

[adleinad]

Actually I do something like this, whenever I met a girl that I like, I let my girlfriend know about her. When it´s secret, makes you more excited about it, but once you trust your couple and tell her about this other person, it´s like you are killing the interest for her. So, yep... I think it´s a good idea.

[Bret]

That's interesting. I guess I can see how letting the secret out kind of kills it a little.

Thanks for sharing.