Man oh Man

How To Buy A Suit

I work in a position where wearing a suit is rarely necessary. Still, like probably most men, I love the way I look and feel when I've put on a suit and tie. It tends to change my outlook and add a little bump to my confidence.

As it turns out, I've had a major Jones for a nice seer sucker suit for quite a while. Not sure why, other than I think it looks kind of cool and it says that I'm put together without being overly formal. Plus, I love the look of a Southern Gentleman. At any rate, my wife and I went shopping and found a great deal. So I bought it. But, afterwards I realized that many of the questions I was being asked I really had no idea how to answer nor did I really know what they were asking in the first place. So, I tended to defer to "whatever you think. You're the professional."

Well, GQ has a few suggestions in their article How To Buy A Suit. I'm linking it here for everyone else who's an inexperienced suit buyer. It's weird, it's another part of our lives that men are just supposed to "get" but I just wonder how many of us really are clueless.

No Limit Credit Cards?

Found this article about no limit credit cards and how they can hurt your credit scores and ratings. I know this is more than just a male issue but thought I'd provide the link. I had no idea that no limit credit cards existed nor do I have any idea as to what credit score you need to get one. But, if you are carrying one this might be of particular interest.

On a related note, one of my clients is a large, regional financial institution. Recently, the CEO of the company was quoted as saying that he believes that financial companies are doing their customers a disservice. It's his belief that consumers go to their banks for a level of financial advice and security and walk out with more debt than when they came in. He finds it irresponsible and refuses to run his company that way. I guess I had never thought of it in those terms until now.

No Limit Credit Cards

How To Be A 21st-Century Gentleman

In the September issue of GQ their style guy, Glenn O'Brien, provides answers to many questions men face today. I actually found most to either be common sense or to be rules that I don't encounter very often. Those that made me say "hmmm" are provided here (I've shortened many to just provide the gist):

How friendly should you be to the people you see four times a week at the gym? Not very. You're there to work out, not to make friends, pose or pass the time.

Where do you stand on the rampant exhibitionism one finds in the locker rooms? Nakedness is unavoidable, but it shouldn't ever seem like a performance.

Seriously on that last one. I get that we are all sharing a locker room. But, dude, can you put that away?

Does a gentelman offer his seat on the train or the bus? A man should always give his seat to people who would otherwise fall down or suffer ill effects. Women are equals now. They can fend for themselves. To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a women, however well-intentioned, is creepy.

Okay, I've always kind of thought that but I still feel like a jackass if I just sit there and read my newspaper.

What about opening doors for her? Absolutely, yes.
Must a man insist on paying for dinner? First date, the guy pays. After that, in order to establish a more equal relationship, there should be some effort made to go Dutch over the long haul.

On a somewhat related note, is that statement offensive to the Dutch? I mean, what the Hell does it really mean?

Should you tell a friend when his girl is cheating on him? (He says, essentially, no)

Now that seems to violate any type of male code that is out there doesn't it? It seems to me that if I knew a friend's girlfriend was cheating on him and I didn't tell him and then he found out I knew, I might be shopping for a new friend.

Before getting engaged, do you really have to ask Dad for permission? No. You ask her first. If she says it's a go, then ask her if you should try Dad.

He goes on in the answer to another question to say that you needn't have the ring when you propose. Another factoid I didn't know. And that, if you do, you shouldn't be offended if she wants to take the ring back and pick out her own. Since it's her ring you would have no right to object. On the surface that seems a little cold but think about how much pressure that takes off of guys today. I'm warming up to it.

To Girlie Drink or Not to Girlie Drink? Drink what you like, and ignore your friends' lugheaded digs at your masculinity. JFK drank daiquiries, and he got laid more than anybody.

Awesome. I love Mojitos and I don't care who knows it.

Can I wear a hat indoors? Yes if you are Orhodox or Rasta.

Along with other answers on how to dress are the following paraphrased responses. Never shy away from wearing a tie. Certain situations call for it. Sometimes you just want to add a little something to your outfit. Go wear it.

And...

Shorts, T-shirts and flip-flops aren't business casual. Jeans are borderline, acceptable in more bohemian workplaces but if they have holes, leave them at home.

Got Game?

I don't exactly know why, but I've never been a hard core video gamer. Clearly, however, the gaming market is growing all around me as further evidenced in an article by Steve Morgenstern in the September issue of Cigar Afficionado (Yes, I'm a big cigar person who still loves CA but that's another post). And it occurred to me that I might be missing out. If you are a big "gamer" you might check out the issue. It offers some opinions on both new games and consoles as promoted at the recent E3 conference. I wish I could link the article but it's not available on line. So, I've tried to highlight a few points of interest here:

According to the Entertainment Software Association, 69% of American heads of households play computer video games. The average game player today is 33 years old. While 31% of game players are 18 years old or younger, a full 25% of us are over 50.

I'll admit that I still own a Playstation and a Nintendo Game Boy but all the new consoles appear to cost much more money than I'm willing to invest in another small hobby. And, this year appears to be no different. Except in the case of the new Nintendo Wii (pronounced wee) which won the Best of Show award at the conference.

The Nintendo Wii, is due to ship this year in time for the holidays and is priced at under $250. Nintendo's controller is a two-handed affair. One part is called a "Nunchuk" - it has a small thumb-controlled joystick on top, mostly used to control an on-screen character's movement. The other controller component is a rectangular wand that uses motion-tracking tehcnology to follow your movements in the air.

Now that seems pretty cool. Even cooler sounding are some of the games the writer found to be interesting. Briefly, those games and their descriptions are:

Fight Night Round 3 which shows how the boxers are doing, not through meters but through how the fighters actually look and respond.

Spore which challenges players to evolve life forms from single-cell organisms that can then advance through intergallactic exploration and species-to-species interaction.

And, finally, Assasin's Creed, which casts the player as an assassin in a Crusade's setting. According to Morgenstern, it makes you feel like the "star of a thrilling action-adventure movie."

So there you have it. Keep an eye out for these this Christmas season. Or, like me, consider them for your list to Santa. Sometimes you just never know.

And, Then, the Voice of Reason

A coworker forwarded this BusinessWeek online link. While the article leading to my last post clearly made me rant, this article actually made me believe that there really is hope out there for many of us. It's a long article so I thought I'd provide a couple of statements here. First Nanette Byrnes, the article's author, has found what many of us already knew. The extremes are not the majority. We "middle men" are.

"Put all the metros and retros together, and they probably add up to fewer than two in every five men, says Leo Burnett.

So who is the elusive man in the middle of the two extremes? Truth is, marketers are only beginning to understand the secrets of the male shopper. It stands to reason that just as women break down into subsectors, so do men."

And, unlike those who believe that women control nearly 80% of all household purchases, as partners, we men have an influence as well. Maybe it's because we are smart enough to marry the women who actually view us as equals.

"Thanks to the two-career household and fathers' increasing interest in raising their kids, men are putting in their two cents when it comes to buying for them. The makers of the high-concept Bugaboo stroller deliberately went after dads, designing a black-and-chrome contraption with a set of tires that wouldn't be out of place on a dirt bike."

Maybe what I've actually learned this morning is that there is one stereotype that continues to be true. Women might really understand us better than we understand ourselves.

 

I'm Back and I'm Angry

Okay, so this is the type of stuff that really irritates me. I'm cruising around the internet this morning and land on AskMen.com. It was there that I found the article, "Vanity and the Modern Man".The author, Ethan Marak, goes through a number of ways that today's man has become a complete pussy. That's my word, not his - although he'd probably approve of it's vulgarity and utter manliness. And, for me, he's just as wrong as those experts who chided us for not getting in touch with our feminine side.

Listen, I'm not an expert and I'm not going to tell anyone how to bring more honor to their gender. What I'm going to ask, however, is does it make each of us a better man today to walk around like mindless oafs and wait around for another expert to tell us how to behave? If we do it properly we're in the "in" club and if we don't, we're out? I find it all tiresome.

To me, a real man today has the ability and confidence to actually think for himself. Using moisturizing sun screen doesn't necessarily make you feminine. In fact, you might actually be smart because you have a way to enjoy your day in the sun and decrease your chances of contracting skin cancer.

Eat healthy. Try a fad diet. Work out. Shave your chest. Shave your balls for all I care. Do what makes you happy (clearly within reason). Enjoy your life. And do what your internal compass tells you is right. Think for yourself. Stay true to your beliefs and do the best you can. That's what makes you a man today. Those that make blanket statements about you because of what you appear to be on the surface are the ones with the real problem.

I hope thast Ethan wrote this article with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek. If so, then my rant is misdirected. Otherwise, Ethan, please feel free to voice your opinion. Just please don't force it on the rest of us.

Carnival of Modern Man

Piers Fawkes, whom I was introduced to at an industry convention, is the man behind PSFK.com. Recently I found this post and I thought I'd share it here. If you have found your way to this blog, you might be interested in following this as it gets off the ground. I'll keep everyone up-to-date as it launches.

Hmm

Here's a site, Daily Candy, that I check out every day. It may seem weird but when it comes to things that might surprise and delight my wife, I'm much more reliant on a woman's opinion than I am my own instincts (We've been married for 12 years and have a daughter so I'm not completely inept). But I've found that sometimes to surprise my wife I need to surprise myself. So I check out the postings at Daily Candy.

Maybe you'll find it interesting.

The real reason for the post, however, is a link Daily Candy provided a day or so ago. Through research on a client's brand I work on, we've found that a lot of men (37%) think that women prefer lingerie as a romantic gift. Women, however, don't think it's such a cool idea. In fact, only 2.5% would prefer it. And that's because we buy lingerie for them that's really a gift for us. If your significant other is like mine she'll try to humor you once in a while but, overall, she'd really rather wear something else.

That's where the site Honeydew Intimates comes in. Their "samba" sets were featured on Daily Candy and it struck me that something like this might be a gift that would work for the both of us. Now, that's not to say that it will make a gift of lingerie popular but it might make it a little better. I've not ordered anything yet but, if I do, I'll be sure and let you know how the gift was received.

Bret

Welcome

As you may have guessed I'm new to the blogging world. Not because I'm technologically iliterate or anything but because I guess I just never had the desire or courage to put myself out there for the world to see. But, recently, I've changed my mind.

I spend a lot of time on line. It's part of my job. I also do a lot of research into men today - also part of my job. And you know what? There's very little out there for us to rely on. And what's there is either outdated or the musings of some expert who has no idea what many of us are facing today. If you don't believe me head to your nearest bookstore. I went in the other day just to see what types of self help or advice books were out there for men. What I found were racks and racks of books about women. And about four books about men. Now, I don't count all the workout books, etc. because those are designed for the enthusiast. What I was looking for were just helpful hints on how to navigate the world today as a guy.

Now, for background, I'm a 38 year old marketing guy. So there's enough mileage on me that the treads are showing some wear. But, I've found it's hard to keep up with who men are "supposed" to be today.

So, I decided it was time to set my own rules. My life is about taking care of my family. It's about hobbies to allow myself to relax and it's about doing the best I can. Whether those around me agree or not. And that's why I've started this blog.

I'm hoping that this can be an exchange of ideas of other guys like me. There are things I'd like to dabble in that maybe you have a passion for. And vice versa. So this blog is supposed to be a resource for new ideas, suggestions, advice. Whatever.

I hope it's something that you'll enjoy and participate in. I don't claim to be an expert but, to me, that's kind of the point.

At any rate, welcome. I hope you'll visit often.

Bret