Men have certain unalienable rights. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were outlined in our Constitution so they're easy to remember. The fourth, man's right to pee standing up, is probably one you haven't thought much about. In fact, you probably have just taken it for granted like the rest of us. It's part of our evolutionary process. Well, wake up and smell the urinal cakes, because life as we know it is already starting to change.
We talk about the imasculation of men in the media and in advertising but now it's happening in schools. Alright, a Norwegian school. But, Norwegians are just as manly as those of us in America. In fact, they kick our ass in the biathalon and cross-country skiing at every Olympic games. But, I digress.
Recently, a Norwegian school district has announced that all boys must now sit when peeing.
"When boys are not allowed to pee in the natural way, the way boys have done for generations, it is meddling with God's work," Kleppe, whose group is a splinter group of former Progress Party hardliners, said in the newspaper.
"It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl," he said.
On Kleppe's contentious "stand" on making political waves, no comment was the response from school principal Lise Gjul.
But she did tell Norwegian Broadcasting NRK that the restrooms are used by both boys and girls, and the young boys are not "good enough at aiming" in order to have "a pleasant toilet.
Listen, there are guys who aim poorly. And many never grow out of it. But there's plenty of horrendous drivers on the road and they can still drive. It's just the way it is. Plus, it's not as if we aren't willing to share that right with our female friends. In fact, there's a new product on the market that is attempting to expand this unalienable right to the women among us.
The P-Mate is a revolutionary way for women to pee discreetly without having to pull down their pants and squat.
The P-Mate allows women to pee standing up.
The P-Mate gives women the freedom to pee like men.
I can just see the day where our roles in restrooms will switch. And I for one do not plan to take this news sitting down. Alright. You get the gist.
This post was written as part of the Carnival of Modern Man.